One thing that made me feel a little better was that I wasn’t experiencing it alone. My core group of friends at school all faced similar failures in the program. Obviously, I didn’t use this to excuse my actions, but it was reassuring to know that I wasn’t alone. However, deciding what I was going to do next was a decision that I had to make alone. I had reservations about whether I would continue my education at BCIT, it didn’t sit right with me that I would leave the school on an ultimately low note as if the school had beaten me. One of my frustrations with failing is that I felt like I lost, something that my competitive nature doesn’t enjoy. Even though I hadn’t made my mind up yet on what I would do for the next school year, I decided to take two courses in the meantime. One was an online math class which was a pre-requisite to the calculus class I failed as I felt I needed a refresher and the other was the statics course which I took at night school. My goal for taking these classes was to gain back some confidence I lost in the previous semester and see if I was interested in trying again.
The following few weeks after finding out I failed weren’t much fun to put it lightly. The start of the next semester for every other student was a painful, deserving reminder that I didn’t work hard enough to achieve my goal. What I hated most was feeling embarrassed to tell my friends and family what had happened which I elaborate more on in Opening Up. I was uncertain what my next steps were and was extremely discouraged. It would be tedious to get back into the program as I would have to retake the courses I failed and wait until the following new year to resume the program. This option didn’t appeal to me because I didn’t like the idea of waiting around, while not growing my confidence, developing study habits, and gaining experience handling a full workload. I decided to give myself some more time to reflect on the previous four months and come up with a game plan moving forward.
Since I would only be a part-time student in the next semester, I decided to get a job. I started working part-time and eventually full-time at a local sports retail store that I grew up going to. I forgot why I decided that I was going to work at Abbie’s Sports Shop, but it was a great idea. Not only was it good to keep me busy and earn some money, but I enjoyed gaining work experience in retail which I hadn’t accounted for in my original plan of how my life was going to go. I guess I didn’t include failing in my original plan either, but one doesn’t usually plan to fail. As I’m sure others who have worked in retail before feel, the best and worst parts are the customers. What I enjoyed most about it was helping the young, avid, baseball players looking for new gear. This reminded me of myself when I shopped there as a kid, and it gave me a sense of pride. I also became a short-term expert on disc golf, selling discs despite hardly ever playing. One of the worst parts was dealing with the customers who would come at closing time expecting to be let in. Don’t be that person, no one likes that person.
The feeling of being a failure still lingered with me and the uncertainty of my future left me uneasy. It was difficult to see friends and former classmates continue with their programs without any hiccups seemingly. I tried to remind myself that there was no point in comparing myself to others and their endeavors when I was just on a short detour, building myself up for the next step. I came to the decision that I wasn’t ready to give up on my goal of becoming a Civil Engineer. Reflecting on the previous semester, I identified a lot of the reasons that resulted in failing, some of which included playing video games, excessive partying, lack of passion, and a drive to do the best I could. I firmly believed that I had what it took to succeed in an engineering undergrad program, and I knew that I would always regret not giving myself the opportunity to overcome this failure. At the time, my lack of passion and care for my future highlighted my immaturity and inexperience. With that being said, I was somewhat encouraged because I believed I had so much more to give. I had heard of an engineering transfer program option from a friend that a few local colleges in the lower mainland ran. This engineering program would encapsulate what any engineering student would learn at The University of British Columbia during their first year and act as a bridge into the second year if accepted. I decided to apply to Langara College which was very close to my house. My intent was to complete this engineering transfer program to restart my engineering journey and join an engineering program that had previously accepted me at UBC, preferably Civil Engineering. There was a specific GPA required to get accepted into UBC. That being said, getting accepted wasn’t enough as the programs were competitive to get into. That means that students with higher GPAs would get higher priority for their program of choice over students with lower GPAs and there was a capacity in each program.
Author
PATRICK SMYTHE
Project Manager
Civil Engineer
Motivated
Storyteller
Big Time Dreamer
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On my application to the transfer program, I was very honest, describing what I had just gone through and how I was going to do things differently. It was such a relief when I found out I got accepted. What was most relieving about getting accepted into this transfer program was being able to explain to my friends and family what my plan is and how I was going to achieve it. This onset of subtle happiness and relief was reinforced by my eagerness to travel Europe for a few weeks before my 19th birthday. My European experience was amazing, offering my first taste of travelling to a different continent. I met wonderful people and forged memories that will last forever. One moment I remember so vividly from the trip was being on the bus with the rest of the touring Contiki team from Munich to a smaller town in Germany. While everyone was asleep, recovering from the long road trip and at this point, a two-week-long party, I had an enlightening moment watching the sunset and wind turbines in the distance. I started thinking about how I handled the last few months trying to move past my failure and my upcoming second attempt at engineering. I truly felt calm, relaxed, and not frustrated with myself anymore. I was excited at my second chance and reminded myself that I had to do whatever it took to succeed this time. I held onto this moment for a while. It was so simple yet so effective in providing internal support and motivation when I faced any sort of setback or conflict.
After my Europe trip, I stopped working at the sports retail job and resumed my annual landscaping summer job. It was my third, awesome summer working for my old baseball coach. Shout out to the Robinson family, I look back on those three summers I spent with you fondly. We continued to build a fence in his backyard and take care of the local baseball fields I used to play on. I turned 19 that summer so I was introduced to the Vancouver bar and club scene. On top of that, I joined a men’s baseball league with some of my brother’s old teammates and guys I grew up with at Little Mountain. It was a very memorable summer and I enjoyed every bit of it before trying my hand at engineering again.
