It was finally the day. My second, first day of post-secondary arrived and my eagerness and anxiety shot through the roof. Fortunately, I saw a friend from high school on the bus who walked me to my class and introduced me to my new classmate who soon became a study buddy and a great friend. The day went well, mainly just meeting new classmates and going over a couple of class syllabuses. At the very end of the day, our program director hosted us for a pizza dinner and an introduction to the program. A funny part of this introduction is he felt it was necessary to share that half of the students weren’t going to make it into UBC. I got flashbacks to BCIT and the message I received on that first day. This time, I wouldn’t take the warning lightly. It was time to get serious and get to work.
I started off the semester with decent grades, nothing worth celebrating over which concerned me a little but woke me up. Over the last six months, I have been impatiently waiting to redeem myself. I couldn’t expect change if I didn’t have a higher standard for myself. If a satisfactory effort was okay, then I’d be admitting I wouldn’t improve. A part of me remained scared to fail again, but I decided to use that fear differently. Instead of being weighed down by my previous failure, I decided to weaponize it to light a fire under my feet. Maybe it was unhealthy to put more pressure than I already had on myself, but the stakes were far too high and it was a pretty effective motivating tactic. I started to develop stronger study habits and learned to work harder than I ever had in school. I aimed to get to school for 6:30-7:00am each day, made use of every break, stayed late, and went to school on the weekend to study. When I found myself overworked and overwhelmed, which was most of the time, I just reminded myself where I was a year ago and where I could be. Shoutout to the Starbucks in the Langara library for my daily post-class snack of blueberry scone, chocolate croissant, and a Frappuccino. This unhealthy combination got me through the year and often has me reminiscing.
Author
PATRICK SMYTHE
Project Manager
Civil Engineer
Motivated
Storyteller
Big Time Dreamer
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After a long, trying first semester, I came out with a 75% average. Not too shabby for a kid who previously failed outstandingly in the previous year. To some, this may seem like a pretty average result, but it meant the world to me at the time. It was a way better result than I previously achieved at BCIT and it gave me a confidence boost that I could do well. If I maintained this average next semester I would get into UBC. That wouldn’t be good enough as there would be no guarantee of getting into the Civil Engineering program, which was the ultimate goal. Beyond the grades I earned, the best outcome from the first semester was the study habits and test-taking routine I developed. For the next semester, I would raise expectations for myself, applying these habits. Not only to guarantee I get into Civil Engineering but as a challenge to see how much better I could do. This obviously required devoting more time to studying but also to understanding the core concepts and principles of each class rather than just memorizing the material for the test. Aiding me in this challenge was the mindset that I was hovering on the edge of failure, despite any good results observed.
The second semester at Langara was unlike any other in my undergrad journey so far. I finally felt like I was able to succeed for once. I understand that there is way more to post-secondary than getting good grades, such as being involved in extracurricular activities, volunteering, working, maintaining and developing relationships, maintaining your mental and physical health, and simply enjoying yourself. With that being said, I was completely focused on achieving good results. I had experienced too much failure and pain to consider anything else other than doing the best I could. Maybe I would allow myself to pursue those other avenues if I made it to the next step. The semester didn’t come easy, requiring more early mornings, late nights, and pour sleep. The study habits I forged throughout the first semester created a foundation for improvement. It wasn’t all good vibes during the semester, however. There were some students who received an early acceptance from UBC, but I was not one of those students. Frankly, this pissed me off. I can be a very impatient person at times and tend to overthink which led me to wonder “what was taking them so long?”. Looking back on it now though, this delayed acceptance produced the best outcome for me. There was no way I would’ve been as determined through the semester if I knew I was already accepted.
I spent a lot of time working on the application. My goal was to highlight the growth I experienced over the past year, including failing. I found this very difficult at first and kept changing my phrasing. I am my biggest critic which requires much more effort to be completely satisfied with what I do. I think it was difficult as I was having a tough time being completely honest due to my fear of being judged for failing. After some time, I realized it wasn’t beneficial to hide from my experiences. If I expect to ultimately succeed as an engineer, I can’t be afraid of learning and making mistakes. In my application, I highlighted my failure and what I learned. Specifically, I stated, “being familiar with failure has provided me with the determination to continue to improve and achieve my goal of succeeding in Civil Engineering”. Whether or not my grades and application were enough to get in, I was proud of my effort and time spent at Langara. Specifically, I was proud that I never gave up or backed down from a challenge. The second semester wrapped up with the final exams which I felt really good about. It would take a week or two to get our grades back, but when I did I was very happy. My grades had improved significantly due to my final exam results. I believe I improved my average by nearly 5% which goes to show that the effort I put into understanding the course material and theory had helped. Shortly after, I found out that I was accepted into the Applied Science Program at the University of British Columbia. It was a perfect day to receive the UBC package with all the brochures of what the campus had to offer. Although the letter from the Department of Applied Science representative was probably a cookie-cutter message they sent to all students, I like to think they wrote to me personally acknowledging my experiences and perseverance. Now that I was accepted into the Faculty of Applied Science, I had to wait to see if I got into the Civil Engineering program. The next steps included ranking our preferred engineering programs for the faculty to review and provide acceptance based on how our GPAs compared to other students interested in the same program. I ranked my preferred options as follows:
- Civil Engineering
- Geotechnical Engineering
- Mechanical Engineering
- Chemical Engineering
There were about 16 programs to choose from but really, Civil Engineering was the only option I wanted. Since elementary, I always knew I wanted to be a Civil Engineer. I always enjoyed building and designing things. Lego had initated that interest, but I also played with Google SketchUP, designing my own buildings. I entertained the idea of being an architect, as I was a big fan of Frank Lloyd Wright as a kid. My Grandma had bought me one of his books and my Mom and I visited his museum in Arizona while on a trip. Deep down though, I knew I wanted to become a civil engineer. Hopefully my GPA would be enough.
That summer, I once again worked as a landscaper and fence builder. The summer of 2017 was one of the best in my life but got even better when I learned I got accepted into Civil Engineering. A very clear and happy memory of mine was calling my dad while shopping at H&M immediately after learning I got accepted into the program. I truly felt like myself again and proud of what I had accomplished. I was confident that my failure would be only a hiccup in a long and hopefully impactful career as a Civil Engineer.
